You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love black thongs
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
