Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
