I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
