Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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