planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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