if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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