I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
