holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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