Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
