She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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