I wish you could order shots online.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
