i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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