I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
