the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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