Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
