You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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