are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
