So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
