plz talk dirty to me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
