"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
