my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
