I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
