So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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