So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
