porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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