You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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