Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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