I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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