Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
