Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
