Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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