I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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