Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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