i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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