It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
