I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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