I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize