He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
