lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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