worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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