batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
