we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
