just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
