So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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