Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
