it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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