Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
