Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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