you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
