Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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