belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
