He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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