Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
