i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
