Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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