Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sext me about skeletons
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
