dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
