She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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