oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
